Trigger Warning: This post contains discussions about suicide and mental health struggles. If you or someone you know is in crisis, please reach out to a mental health professional or call a suicide prevention hotline.
Feelings of rejection can leave you questioning your worth and doubting your place in this world. In honour of Suicide Awareness Month, I want to share a part of my story—a chapter that I have kept hidden for far too long but one that I believe needs to be told.
I remember that day vividly; it wasn’t just a bad day—it felt like the culmination of rough years that seemed to stretch endlessly. On this particular day, I felt like I was carrying the world’s weight on my shoulders. The crushing feelings of loneliness, loss, rejection, and hopelessness seemed to all converge at once. I found myself lying alone in a hotel room, feeling utterly isolated. At that moment, the thought of ending my life crept in, not as a fleeting idea but as a seemingly viable solution to all the pain I was feeling. It terrified me that I was even considering it.
I’ve always had a relationship with God. He has been a source of strength for me through many trials. But during those dark years, I had unknowingly pushed Him to the back burner. I wasn’t leaning on Him or drawing from the well of faith that had sustained me before. Instead, I was consumed by my despair. In a desperate moment of clarity, I reached out—I texted two of my closest friends. Their words and love pulled me back from the edge that night, convincing me to hold on, even when I felt like letting go.
But the relief I felt was quickly replaced by a deep shame and guilt. How could I, someone who outwardly seemed so strong, ever have considered such a thing? I have struggled with this shame ever since, carrying it like an invisible scar. That day wasn’t the only time I battled with those thoughts, but it was the first time I truly understood how close I had come. And the memory of it still haunts me.
We live in a society where the ‘heavy stuff’ is often left undiscussed, swept under the rug as if ignoring it will make it disappear. In my culture, especially, conversations about mental health and suicide are almost taboo. We don’t talk about it because it makes people uncomfortable or perhaps because we’re taught to suffer in silence, to keep pushing forward without acknowledging our genuine pain.
But here’s the thing: the more we talk, the less heavy the burden becomes. By sharing our stories, we strip away the shame, stigma, and silence surrounding these struggles. We begin to see that we are not alone, that others have walked this path and survived. We start to understand that our worth is not determined by the moments when we feel broken, but by the courage, it takes to keep going, to reach out, and to heal.
The Importance of Speaking Up
According to the most recent data from the World Health Organization (2023), more than 700,000 people die by suicide every year—it’s a global crisis that knows no boundaries, affecting people of all ages, cultures, and backgrounds. In the United States alone, suicide is the 10th leading cause of death overall and the second leading cause among individuals aged 10 to 34 (National Institute of Mental Health, 2023). For every suicide, there are many more who contemplate or attempt to end their lives.
These numbers are staggering but also highlight the urgency of breaking the silence. We need to normalize conversations about mental health and create spaces where people feel safe to express their pain and seek help without judgment or fear. We must remember that reaching out for support is not a sign of weakness; it’s an act of courage.
How to Seek Help or Support Others
If you or someone you know is struggling with thoughts of suicide or severe depression, it’s essential to know that there is help available. You don’t have to face this alone.
- Call a Suicide Prevention Hotline: In the U.S., the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is available 24/7 at 988. You can also contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or chat online at suicidepreventionlifeline.org.
- Text a Helpline: If talking feels too difficult, text “HELLO” to 741741 to connect with a trained crisis counsellor through the Crisis Text Line.
- Reach Out to Someone You Trust: Sometimes, talking to a friend, family member, or trusted colleague can make a huge difference. If you notice signs of distress in someone else, don’t be afraid to ask how they’re doing and let them know you’re there to support them.
- Seek Professional Help: Therapists, counsellors, and psychiatrists can provide the support and tools needed to manage feelings of depression, anxiety, or suicidal thoughts. Many communities have local mental health centres or services that offer sliding scale fees or insurance coverage.
To Anyone Who Feels This Way: You Are Not Alone
If you are struggling, please know that you are not alone. Some people care, who want to help, and who will listen without judgment. Your life is valuable and worthy of love and light, even on your darkest days.
“I am bent, but not broken. I am scarred, but not disfigured. I am sad, but not hopeless. I am tired, but not powerless. I am angry, but not bitter. I am depressed, but not giving up.” — Anonymous
Encourage Open Conversations
Let’s work together to break the silence around mental health. Start by having open, honest conversations within your circles—whether with friends, family, or colleagues. Share your stories, listen without judgment, and offer support. By doing so, we can contribute to a culture of understanding and compassion where everyone feels safe to speak up. The more we talk, the less alone we feel, and the more we heal.
Your voice matters, and your story could be the lifeline someone else needs. Your story is significant, and it deserves to be heard. Share it, and let it make a difference.
Let’s continue to speak up, share our stories, and support one another.
References:
National Institute of Mental Health. (2023). Suicide Statistics. https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/suicide
World Health Organization. (2023). Suicide worldwide in 2023: Global Health Estimates. https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/suicide
If you or someone you know is in crisis, reach out to a mental health professional, call a suicide prevention hotline, or text a friend or family member. You don’t have to face this alone.
Until next time,
Abby
Authentically Abby 