Abigail

Embracing Life’s Unpredictability: Finding Strength in Surrender to God’s Plan

Hope, growth, resilience, and inner peace can be found through unexpected challenges and surrender to God’s plan.

Hey, friends! This is the final piece of the “God Writes with Straight, Crooked Lines” series as I close out my final days in the Army.

As I reflect on life’s unpredictability, I’m struck by how much these moments shape us in ways we could never have imagined. It’s easy to get caught up in the discomfort of the unknown, to wrestle with sudden changes that throw us off course. But through these trials, I’ve come to understand a profound truth: God’s plan is often most evident in the spaces where our plans fall apart.

Life is full of twists and turns, moments that challenge our understanding and push us to our limits. When we face unexpected challenges—like an abrupt career change, a complicated relationship, or an unforeseen hardship—it’s natural to question why these happen. We may wonder why our carefully laid plans unravel or are thrust into unexpected situations. But I’ve learned that these moments, though painful, are where true growth happens.

I didn’t have all the answers, but I chose to believe that there was a purpose behind the pain. Slowly, I started to see small but significant changes. I was drawn to opportunities I would have never considered.

Instead of retreating, I consciously opened up to new experiences and relationships. I started attending a small Bible study group, a bonding group with others navigating life’s uncertainties and spending more time with God. Through shared stories and mutual support, I found healing and formed connections that have strengthened and encouraged me. These relationships have reminded me that community is essential to surrender and that we don’t have to face life’s challenges alone.

Reflecting on these experiences, I realize that surrendering to God’s plan didn’t just lead to external changes; it transformed my inner life. I became more resilient, more adaptable, and more at peace with the idea that I didn’t have to have everything figured out. Letting go and trusting in God’s timing has brought me closer to the person I’m meant to be.

But amidst all these changes, there is one goodbye that I know will be the hardest—the day I leave the Army. As I prepare for my upcoming discharge, my heart is heavy with mixed emotions. The Army has been more than just a job; it has been my home for the past three years. The uniform I’ve worn with pride has symbolised my commitment, sacrifices, and unwavering dedication to serving something greater than myself.

The day I say goodbye to the Army will be a moment of deep reflection and gratitude. The experiences, the friendships, the challenges—all of these have shaped me in ways that I never imagined when I first enlisted. I’ve learned the true meaning of resilience, the importance of camaraderie, and the strength that comes from pushing through adversity. But now, as I prepare to step into a new chapter, I know these lessons will stay with me, guiding me as I navigate whatever comes next.

The Army has given me so much, and as I prepare to take off this uniform for the last time, I carry a deep sense of pride, honour, and gratitude. This chapter may be closing, but its impact on my life will remain forever.

Now, you might wonder how to apply this in your life. Here are a few steps that have helped me and that I hope will guide you as well:

Pause and Reflect: When faced with unexpected challenges, take a moment to pause and reflect. Ask yourself, “What is this situation teaching me? How can I grow through this experience?” Journaling your thoughts can be a powerful way to gain clarity and perspective.
Release Control: Identify the areas in your life where you hold on too tightly. It might be a specific plan, relationship, or expectation. Practice releasing control by praying, meditating, or simply stepping back and trusting that God has a bigger picture in mind.
Take Action in Faith: Surrendering doesn’t mean being passive. It means taking action even when you’re uncertain of the outcome. Whether applying for a new job, reaching out to someone, or trying something outside your comfort zone, do it with faith that every step is part of a larger plan.
Seek Community: Surround yourself with people who uplift and support you. Share your journey with others who are also navigating life’s unpredictability. Their insights and encouragement can help you stay grounded and motivated.
Celebrate Small Wins: Growth often happens in small, incremental steps. Celebrate the little victories—learning something new, overcoming a fear, or overcoming a tough day. Recognizing these moments of progress will fuel your perseverance.

“Surrender to what is. Let go of what was. Have faith in what will be.” – Sonia Ricotti

Now, I’d love to hear from you. Have you ever faced a moment when your plans fell apart? How did you find the strength to move forward? What has surrendering to God’s plan taught you about yourself and your journey? Feel free to share your experiences in the comments—I believe we can learn so much from each other’s stories.

As you embark on this journey of surrender, remember that it’s not about figuring everything out but about trusting in the process and allowing yourself to be transformed along the way. Life’s unpredictability isn’t something to fear; it’s an opportunity to grow, discover, and become the person you’re meant to be

Until next time,
Abby

Finding Purpose in Unpredictability: Surrendering to God’s Plan

Letting go of our plans is not about giving up on our dreams but rather about being open to the idea that our lives may unfold in ways we never imagined, which can be good. It’s about consulting God in our decision-making and trusting His plans for us, which are ultimately for our good, even when they differ from our own.

A bad day, week, month or year is not indicative of a bad life. Our lives are not defined by temporary setbacks or moments of despair. It’s easy to get caught up in the negativity of our circumstances, allowing the weight of one difficult period to overshadow the broader narrative of our lives. Yet, this perspective encourages us to step back and see the bigger picture—our lives are a tapestry woven with challenges and triumphs, each thread contributing to the unique beauty of our story.

Focusing on the Wrong Things

It is so easy for us to focus on everything that is going wrong in our lives, so much so that it sucks the joy out of everything and everyone around us. However, like I said in prior posts, if our plans do not align with the ones God has for us, they will never come to life.

Faith and Comfort in Uncertainty

Last night, I had a dream, and in that dream, I kept repeating Jeremiah 29:11. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” I woke up feeling comforted, knowing things would work out as they should. Faith provides comfort in times of uncertainty. This realization invites us to shift our focus from rigidly adhering to our plans to being open to the unfolding of God’s will in our lives. It’s a call to surrender—not in defeat but trust. Trust that the detours and delays we encounter are not obstacles but part of a more extraordinary design that we may not yet fully understand.

The Unpredictability of Life

In our journey through life, it’s natural to plan and set goals. We map out milestones, creating timelines that we hope will guide us toward the life we envision. However, life often unravels those plans, leading us down paths we never anticipated. This unpredictability can be unsettling, particularly for those comfortable with structure and control. Life is something we can’t plan for. It’s too unpredictable.

The Problem with Overplanning

It’s essential to recognise that while planning is not inherently wrong, it becomes problematic when we place our sense of worth and identity in achieving those plans. When we tie our happiness and self-worth to a specific timeline, we set ourselves up for disappointment and frustration when things don’t go as expected. This often leads to a cycle of comparison, where we measure our progress against that of others, forgetting that each of us is on a unique journey with its challenges and blessings.

Comparison Is the Thief of Joy

Comparison is a thief of joy. It blinds us to the blessings in our own lives and breeds discontentment. When we compare ourselves to others, we’re unfair to ourselves and the unique path that God has laid out for us. Our journeys are meant to be distinct, and the diversity of our experiences enriches the world around us. Imagine a world where everyone’s story was the same—how dull and unoriginal it would be! Our individual struggles, victories, and lessons we learn along the way make our stories worth telling.

My Own Experience with Setbacks

The realization that I would be losing my military career and battling depression and chronic pain was a time when everything seemed to be falling apart. I had planned my career meticulously. I worked tirelessly, sacrificing personal time and energy to achieve this goal, and lost it all within the blink of an eye. It felt like a massive failure. For weeks, I questioned my worth and the direction of my life.

Embracing God’s Plan

Letting go of our plans and embracing God’s plan for our lives is not easy. It requires humility, patience, and trust in God’s timing. But how do we know when to let go? The answer lies in our relationship with God. When we take our plans to Him in prayer, seeking His guidance and aligning our desires with His will, He provides the clarity and peace we need to move forward. God’s plans are rooted in love and designed to prosper us, not harm us. When we consult Him and remain open to His direction, we can rest assured that we are on the right path, even when it doesn’t look like what we initially envisioned.

Trusting God’s Timing

It’s important to remember that God’s timing is perfect, even when it doesn’t align with our own. What we perceive as delays or setbacks may be God’s way of preparing us for something greater. He may use these moments to teach us patience, strengthen our character, or redirect us towards a path leading to greater fulfilment and purpose. Therefore, we must learn to trust in the process, knowing that every step, even the difficult ones, is part of a divine plan for our good.

The Journey of Life

Life’s journey is filled with unexpected twists and turns, but this unpredictability is not something to fear. Instead, it’s an opportunity to deepen our trust in God and embrace the unique path He has laid for us. While making plans is natural, we must hold them loosely, always willing to submit them to God’s will. By doing so, we free ourselves from trying to control every aspect of our lives and open ourselves up to the possibility of something far greater than we could ever imagine.

Conclusion: Fret Not

So, fret not when things don’t go as planned. Remember that a bad day, week, month, or year is not indicative of a bad life. It’s merely a chapter in a much larger story that is still written by a loving God who has good plans for you. Trust in Him, and know that everything will work out as it should, in His perfect timing.

Until next time,
Abby

Trusting God’s Plan: My Unexpected Army Discharge

Welcome to part two of the “God Writes Straight with Crooked Lines” series.

In the previous post, I discussed my unexpected injury, which led to my ultimate discharge from the Army. I mentioned that when I enlisted, I intended to serve twenty years. If our plans do not align with the Lord’s intention, they will never play out as we expect.

Picture a street parade with all the floats and entertainment coming by in a single procession. You can only see as far as your eyes can see. Now, think of God having a bird’s-eye view of that parade. Life is like this parade. We can see only so much, but God sees it all—from the beginning to the end.

For four weeks after my injury, I was placed on bed rest. I was in crippling pain. I wanted to reach inside my back and pull the nerves out. The pain was unlike anything I had ever felt. I could barely walk. The medications I was on were not working. My world was falling apart. In my tent back in Kuwait, while everyone slept at night, I lay awake writhing in pain. During the days when they went out to work, I tried to sleep. Everything was backward for me. I was a mess.

One night, the pain got so bad I lay on the floor because it was the only thing that brought some form of relief. The hard, cold stone pressed against my back gave enough support to take some weight off my back. I can’t remember exactly when I got my friend, Pete, to take me to the emergency room that night, but I knew I had to go. I could not survive on the medications I had. So, Pete and two other guys I had formed a friendship with during the deployment borrowed this busted-up truck from our motor pool and drove me to the emergency room.

Looking back, I can laugh hysterically about the entire experience. This truck was big, loud, dirty, and ugly! Now, picture me, who could barely walk at the time, being carried out and trying to get into a truck with a female half my height because the men weren’t allowed in our barracks. Thankfully, the ER was close by. The doctor on call told me there was only one thing left for them to try to help with the pain: ketamine. My knowledge of ketamine at the time was that it is a horse tranquilliser. At that time, I was about 160 lbs. They dosed me, and for the first time in my life, I hallucinated. I saw a kaleidoscope of colours floating in front of my eyes; I had visions while wide awake. I was floating. I was disassociated. I sang “Like I Loved You” because country music was a comfort even in a dissociative state, and it so happened to be playing on the radio. I was a goner! It was a comically horrible experience.

They did not keep me overnight, and once it was safe for me to leave, my three friends got me into that fitful truck. Once again, Pete carried me on her back to my bed once we got back to our barracks. I think I slept that night. To this day, Pete is an angel sent from God himself. I met her, and we instantly connected. Not only was she a fellow Jamaican, but we got each other. I would have never gotten through without her. Thank you to Espinal, Rahman, Simms, Mack, Morales, and Martinez. Captain Gerjoi and Lieutenant Bailey-my amazing doctors. Thank you. Thank you for getting me through. For making me laugh through the pain, keeping up with me, and just being there even after I was medevaced out. Thank you!

I volunteered for that deployment because I needed a change. I wanted to get away. Never would I have imagined the complete 180 my life would have taken. My ordeal changed me. It tested my limits physically, emotionally, and spiritually. The journey from then until now has been transformative, turning pain into strength and uncertainty into a renewed sense of purpose.

This experience has shown me that our plans are often just a starting point. The true path is revealed through trials and unexpected turns, guiding us to places we never imagined. As I look to the future, I carry these lessons, embracing the unknown with confidence and faith.

The Power of Faith and Support

During those nights in Kuwait, I often questioned why this happened to me. Why was I in so much pain? Why did my career have to end this way? It was during these moments that my faith was tested the most. I prayed for strength, relief, and understanding. Slowly, I realised that this experience was shaping me in ways I couldn’t have imagined. It taught me resilience, patience, and the importance of relying on a support system.

Embracing the Unexpected

My injury forced me to slow down and reevaluate my life. It made me appreciate the small victories, like walking a few steps without pain or having a good night’s sleep. These were things I had taken for granted before. I also discovered new passions and interests that I might never have explored if I had continued my military career as planned. I started focusing on my education (associate’s degree completed after five long years and bachelor’s in the works to be completed next May) and family and finding new ways to contribute to my community.

Looking Ahead with Hope

As I prepare to transition to civilian life, I am filled with hope and anticipation. My journey has been far from easy, but it has been gratifying. I have learned that while we cannot control everything that happens to us, we can control how we respond. I choose to face the future with optimism and faith, knowing that God’s plan for me is far greater than anything I could have envisioned.

This is just the beginning of my story. Thank you for joining me in this series. Stay tuned for more reflections on the unexpected paths that lead us to our true purpose.

Until next time,
Abby

Navigating Life’s Challenges: My Unexpected Journey of Resilience and Growth

Abby’s life took a turn in March 2022 when a back injury led to her medical discharge from the Army. Despite initial struggles and disappointment, she found purpose in her pain and embraced change. She appreciates the support of family, friends, and faith and looks forward to new opportunities. Abby also plans to share insights from her journey in future posts.

Two years ago, the trajectory of my life changed.

It was an early morning in March 2022, and I had just completed a physical fitness test in the scorching Kuwaiti heat. All was well until I tried to stand up after having breakfast some minutes later. I felt a searing pain in my lower back that stopped me dead in my tracks. I could not stand to my full height or sit back down. I was stuck. After many bouts of physical therapy, pain management, surgery, and everything you can think of, the Army has found me unfit for duty, and I will be medically discharged because I am not getting better.

I knew this would be the result, and while I had time to prepare and accept the decision, I can’t say that I am not a little disappointed. When I enlisted, I did so with the intention of doing twenty years. My injury prevented me from completing my first contract—five out of six years. Two have been spent in a Soldier Recovery Unit, away from my friends and family. I mourn the loss of a career I did not have a chance to explore and get to know my true potential. I mourn being unable to lead and help set the standards for women like me. I mourn the people I will leave behind.

The journey from then until now has not been easy. In the beginning, I was so angry, lost, depressed, and feeling sorry for myself. Over time, with the help of my faith, therapy, support from friends and family, and simply changing my outlook, I have found purpose in my pain. Don’t get me wrong; there are days when the pain is still so crippling that it feels like my body is working against me. Instead of letting the pain define me, I choose to be in control.

The person I am now is not the same person I was before my injury. I have changed for the better. I have grown, and I have learned so much that may not have happened had I not gotten hurt. I have met people who have made a lasting impact on my life. I have been focused on school, family, a career, and my future from here on out. I have never been more ready and confident to face the unknown.

Reflecting on this unexpected journey, I realize that life is a series of events, many of which we cannot control. The military deepened my resilience, discipline, and the importance of teamwork. These lessons are now more relevant than ever as I navigate this new chapter of my life. The skills I acquired during my service are transferable, and I am eager to apply them in new ways. I’ve discovered new passions and interests I might never have pursued without my injury.

My family and friends have been my rock throughout this ordeal. Their unwavering support has reminded me that I am not alone in this journey. My faith has also been a guiding light, giving me the strength to persevere and find meaning in my struggles. Each day is a testament to the power of faith, love, and determination.

Looking ahead, I am filled with anticipation and excitement. The path before me is uncharted, but it is also filled with endless possibilities. I am committed to making the most of every opportunity and to continuing my journey of growth and self-discovery. The experiences I have gained, the lessons I have learned, and the people I have met along the way have all contributed to shaping the person I am today.

In the coming posts, I will delve deeper into specific aspects of my journey, sharing insights and lessons learned. From coping with physical pain to finding new career paths, from the importance of mental health to the power of community, I hope to provide valuable perspectives that resonate with others facing similar challenges.

I want to express my heartfelt gratitude to my care team at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center, Fort Belvoir, and my civilian providers.
Thank you for joining me on this journey.

Together, we can navigate the twists and turns of life, finding strength in our shared experiences and hope in the promise of tomorrow. Stay tuned for more.

With gratitude,
Abby

Challenging Ego and Embracing Accountability for Personal Growth

Taking accountability can be challenging. Embracing humility, seeking constructive feedback, and encouraging others to do the same is vital for personal growth. It’s about admitting mistakes, actively working towards improvement, and creating a culture of trust and respect. Surround yourself with those who challenge you, practice humility, and remember that it’s an opportunity for growth.

Taking accountability can be a challenging feat for many people. Let’s face it: admitting fault can be complicated. I was once like that. If you know me, you’ll see that I am the type of person who will tell you when you’ve done something wrong. I despise injustice, power trips, and unfairness. To know me is to know that I will go on a rampage to speak up when I see any of these things occurring. Some may call me rude, rebellious, aggressive, or anything they can think of when I refuse to accept the wrong things.

I was listening to the podcast “Keep it Positive, Sweetie” when one episode had me shouting, “Yes! Yes! This is it! Amen!” I will never forget that day. I was driving back home from Maryland and was in Delaware at this point when one particular sentence resonated deeply: “In the absence of love, truth is condemnation, but when we add love to truth, it’s conviction.” The reason for my reaction was that I was going through a situation where someone refused to admit their fault or take accountability. For the life of me, they could not truly receive what I was saying. It was a losing battle, and I felt so defeated.

When we challenge people we love, it is not an attack against them. However, if that person is not receptive to feedback, it will feel like an attack. People who love you will never want to see you fail. They will call you out on your wrongdoings. On the other hand, when you surround yourself with yes men, they will never tell you when you are wrong but rather encourage your wrongdoing.

Overcoming Pride and Embracing Humility

Something about an ego stroke makes us feel powerful and invincible. However, I am here to tell you that pride will be your biggest downfall. The Lord tells us in Proverbs 16:18, “Pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.” Be open to correction. Surround yourself with not only like-minded people but also people who will challenge you to be your best. People who want to see you grow and become your best self.

Creating a Culture of Trust and Respect

We will remain stuck if we spend our lives around people who only tell us what we want to hear. Life is about growth. It’s about learning from each other and evolving to move forward. Embracing accountability and seeking constructive feedback are crucial steps in our personal development. It’s essential to recognize that those who challenge us and hold us accountable do so out of love and a desire to see us succeed. So, let’s commit to humility, openness, and continuous improvement, knowing that genuine growth comes from facing our faults and striving to improve.

Encouraging Others to Embrace Accountability

In my journey, I’ve realised that admitting mistakes and taking responsibility are powerful acts of courage. Owning up to our faults and actively working towards bettering ourselves shows strength of character. This process is not easy and often requires deep self-reflection and a willingness to change, but the rewards are immense. Not only do we become better individuals, but we also build stronger, more honest relationships with those around us.

It’s also important to remember that taking accountability doesn’t mean being overly critical of ourselves. It’s about balancing recognizing our imperfections and celebrating our efforts to improve. It involves forgiving ourselves for past mistakes and committing to continuous learning and development.

The Power of Accountability

So, the next time you find yourself in a situation where you need to take accountability, remember that it’s an opportunity for growth. Embrace it with an open heart and mind. Seek feedback from those who care about you and use it as a tool to become a better version of yourself. Surround yourself with people who challenge you constructively and help you see things from different perspectives. And most importantly, practice humility and gratitude for the lessons learned along the way.

In conclusion, taking accountability is a transformative practice that requires courage, humility, and a commitment to growth. It’s about more than admitting fault; it’s about learning, evolving, and becoming the best version of ourselves. Let’s strive to create a culture of accountability in our lives and communities, where we support each other in our journeys of self-improvement and celebrate our collective progress.

Share Your Experiences

I would love to hear from you! Have you ever faced a challenging situation where you had to take accountability? How did you handle it, and what did you learn from the experience? Share your stories and insights in the comments below. Together, we can learn from each other and continue to grow.

Until next time,
Abby

Reflecting on the Beautiful Chaos of Parenthood

Abby’s unexpected experience with four children transformed her perspective on love and parenting, challenging her insecurities. Over time, she became fiercely protective, adapting her lifestyle and parenting approach. Their departure left a profound impact, teaching her about love’s strength and our lasting influence on each other. Abby embraces the imperfections of parenting, cherishing the memories and embracing the power of love to shape lives.

If you want to make God laugh, tell Him about your plans. I was adamant I did not want children, nor would I date someone who had any of their own. Well, for eight short months, I was partly responsible for not one but four incredible children who opened my heart’s capacity for love. God sure does have a sense of humour!

I won’t come here to sugarcoat and say it was easy because it was not. The first day I met them, I was cowering away behind a façade of indifference. Four pairs of eyes stared back at someone who would now be in control of their well-being. I, on the other hand, was petrified. I didn’t think I was up for the task; most of all, I had a strong feeling that they did not like me. My insecurities were rearing their ugly heads.

In the following months, I became fiercely protective of them, and to this day, I want and wish to save them from the people who are supposed to love them the most. They were no longer some kids-they were my kids. My entire existence changed. There was nothing I wouldn’t do for them, and I would go to hell and back for them. Their coming into my life was one of the highlights of my year, and forming an even closer relationship was the icing on top. Through them, I learnt so much about myself and what it means to be a parent. I had no idea what I was getting myself into, but I know I did a heck of a job!

My entire world revolved around them. There was no decision I made without considering them. There was no store that I walked into and left empty-handed. If I saw something that reminded me of them, I just had to get what it was. They consumed every thought, their needs, and what they would like. Through all this, I knew that I had some changes to make on my own. I didn’t have the ideal childhood, and I’m thankful for how I was raised, but I knew I had to do things differently. So, as any millennial parent, I was entertained by the gentle parenting technique. All over my social media fyps were posts about gentle parenting. I wanted to make a difference. I made sure to apologise to them when I was wrong. I corrected them. I included them, but most of all, I respected them. There were some things that I was bullheaded about, such as cleanliness. I am an “everything has its place,” and being in the military does not help. Ha!

It’s important to remember that children are humans, too. Have conversations with and include them. There is so much they learn from us. I never thought that I would be on the phone for hours talking to an eight-year-old or a thirteen-year-old. Sometimes, neither of us said anything, but we had peace of mind knowing that there was someone on the other end of the line. These shared experiences shape who we are and who we become. When they look back years from now, I hope they remember the lessons and the love and support that surrounded them. I hope they remember that their voices mattered and that they were never alone in their journey.

We talked through their problems. It wasn’t just about solving them for them but about letting them know they were heard and valued. These conversations were not always filled with words of wisdom but with moments of mutual understanding and support.

These interactions taught me the importance of being present and patient. They also taught me resilience, empathy, and the power of open communication. They told me everything! As painful as it was at times, I am thrilled I could be a source for them to confide in. I hope these lessons stay with them as they grow, reminding them that they are never alone and that someone cares deeply for them.

My time with them abruptly and unexpectedly came to an end. My world shattered, and the pain that came from losing them is inexplicable. It blows my mind when I think of parents intentionally hurting their children. I cannot fathom how anyone can look into the innocent eyes of children and take out all their frustrations on them. Yes, it sometimes gets overwhelming, but that is no excuse for mistreatment. Children are looking at what we do more so than what we say. The things we do and say shape their behaviours and development. Parenting involves selflessness. It is essential to be discerning about who to bring around your child(ren). I can’t imagine being away from my child, nor can I understand parents choosing to walk away.

No child asked for permission to be on this Earth. It is not their responsibility to be thankful and appreciative of the sacrifices we make. It may seem like a sacrifice to us, but to children and wise folks, that is simply parenting. I am no expert, but my entire perspective changed when I was with them. It’s true when they say you never really know what you have until it’s gone. I miss them a lot. I miss the chaos, and I miss the mess. Why? Because it was beautifully chaotic, and there was nowhere else, I would rather be.

In the middle of our bubble being pricked, an eight-year-old told me I was her best friend and that she wanted to follow in my footsteps. That shattered my heart into a million pieces! It also solidified what I knew to be true: I made a fantastic impact. I will always have space to carry my love for them. I am also profoundly apologetic to them for not being able to protect them and give them the life they deserved.

Thank you, God, for bringing them to me and showing me beauty in chaos. I know they will never see this post, but to the four innocent souls who opened my eyes, heart, and purse! I love you with every fibre of my being. I miss our playful banter, nicknames, enthralling conversations, and lessons where the four of you were the teacher at different times. I will always carry the memories we made with me.

Sometimes, I find myself reminiscing about the small moments that defined our time together—cooking together, putting furniture together, café dates and McDonald’s runs, laughing until our stomachs hurt, the innocent questions only children can ask, and the heartfelt conversations about their dreams and fears. These moments, though fleeting, are etched in my heart forever.

I also learnt to embrace the imperfections of parenting. There were days when I felt utterly exhausted, overwhelmed, and unsure of myself. But in those moments, I discovered the true strength of love. It’s not about having all the answers or being perfect; it’s about showing up, being present, and loving with all your heart. And that’s precisely what I did.

My journey with those four incredible children has taught me the profound impact we can have on each other’s lives. It’s a reminder that love knows no bounds and that our connections can transcend time and circumstance’s limitations.

To anyone in a similar situation, embrace the chaos, cherish the moments, and never underestimate love’s power in transforming lives.

With love,
Abby

Understanding Forgiveness: The Journey to Spiritual Renewal and Healing

Amid a difficult breakup, the writer confronts the challenge of true forgiveness. Through introspection and spiritual renewal, they realize the superficiality of their forgiveness and its impact on their relationships. Drawing from personal and religious insights, they acknowledge forgiveness as an ongoing process and share practical strategies for cultivating it.

Introspection is humbling but, at the same time, freeing.

A few months ago, I went through a breakup. I took it badly. Amid it, he told me he couldn’t forgive and forget, and I took it personally because I thought it was the opposite for me. I believed I had forgiven and forgotten. I was being a hypocrite. Using terms such as “you always” or “you never” indicates we have not forgiven. I was guilty of using these words. As much as I wanted to tell myself otherwise, how we truly feel on the inside always comes out when emotions are heightened. I had not forgiven. At least he was honest about how he felt. Kudos to him.

As I am on this journey of spiritual renewal, there are moments when I am hit by thoughts that leave me with no choice but to examine them deeply. This most recent one is forgiveness. I came across a book, “Forgiving What You Can’t Forget” by Lysa TerKeurst, and I immediately purchased it. Seeing the title instantly made me realise that I was struggling with forgiveness and that to be free from the hurt I was feeling, I needed to let go.

Before that, I thought I was leading by example and doing what God asks of us—praying for those who hurt us—and believe me, I have prayed. After realising my struggle, I asked myself, were those prayers a show, knowing that my heart harboured resentment towards that person, or were they sincere? Like I said earlier, introspection is very humbling.

One specific experience stands out. I remember an argument where my ex said something hurtful, and I retaliated by bringing up his past mistakes when I spoke about it with my friends. While I may not have said it to him specifically, it was clear then that my forgiveness was superficial. Instead of addressing the underlying hurt, I used it as ammunition. This realisation was painful but necessary for my growth.

There are many references in the Bible where God tells us to forgive. After all, the most outstanding example of forgiveness was God sending Jesus to die for our sins. How can I, a mere human, refuse to forgive those around me? Who am I to judge? I know how much it hurts, but when we hold on to feelings of betrayal, anger, hurt, pride, and defeat, they only fuel the fire of unforgiveness.

I have learned that forgiveness is a process. It’s ongoing. It’s intentional. It’s easy to say we forgive, but the key is doing the work afterwards and knowing how to navigate the emotions that arise when we are triggered positively. It’s knowing how not to secretly want the other person to hurt in the way that they hurt you. It’s knowing what it means to let go genuinely. That, my friends, is what it means to be intentional. I won’t lie. It’s hard. However, our wounds never heal when we hold on to all the negative feelings. Whenever a memory surfaces, and we view it from an earthly perspective, we inflict more damage on that wound, and it never heals.

“But if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” Matthew 6:15. There are so many times I have asked for our Father’s forgiveness, knowing that I have unforgiveness in my heart. Abby, be so for real!

I also realised that my inability to forgive had caused other relationships to fall apart. I said I forgave, but at the slightest inconvenience, I either threw it back in their faces or took it out on them in some other way. For instance, I often withdraw or become passive-aggressive with friends when old wounds are unintentionally reopened.

Here are a few practical strategies that have helped me cultivate forgiveness in my daily life:

Prayer and Meditation: These practices help center my thoughts and remind me of the bigger picture. They connect me with peace and purpose beyond my immediate emotions.
Mindfulness: Staying present helps me avoid ruminating on past hurts. It keeps me focused on the here and now, where I have the power to change my responses. When memories of betrayal overwhelm me, I take time to pray and meditate, which helps me bring about a feeling of calmness to see the situation with compassion rather than anger.
Seeking Counsel: Talking to a trusted friend or therapist can provide new perspectives and help me navigate complex emotions.
Practising Empathy: Seeing the situation from the other person’s perspective can soften my heart and open the door to forgiveness.

In addition to the Bible, various other traditions offer valuable insights on forgiveness. For example, Buddhist teachings emphasise releasing attachment to anger and resentment. They advocate for compassion towards oneself and others, recognising that everyone is on a path of growth and learning. Similarly, many Indigenous cultures view forgiveness as a communal act essential for restoring harmony and balance within the community.

Forgiveness is not about condoning hurtful actions but about freeing ourselves from the chains of resentment. It’s about healing and moving forward with a lighter heart. As I continue this journey, I strive to embrace forgiveness as a concept and a daily practice, one step at a time.

Until next time,
Abby

Finding True Happiness and Healing Through the Lord

A personal journey of pain and faith, seeking solace in God and finding strength in a supportive community.

This is the second consecutive week I’ve felt compelled to write and post spontaneously, diverging from my prewritten and scheduled posts. This is a sign that the Lord is speaking to and guiding me. Once again, I heard a song that deeply moved me, resonating with my current state of mind and heart.

Last week was particularly challenging—not just a tough day, but a series of difficult days. I found myself crying at the most unexpected times. I’ve been pouring out my heart to God, telling Him how much it hurts. While I can try to pretend that I’m okay, the truth is that the pain is overwhelming. It hurts so deeply. There were moments when I felt hopeless, focusing only on the one thing that went wrong, overshadowing all the other areas where I was thriving. It’s difficult to celebrate my accomplishments when the pain seems all-consuming.

The Trap of Temporary Relief

Pain has a way of pulling us in, making it easy to give in to it or seek temporary relief. We might turn to alcohol, drugs, sex, or meaningless relationships, convincing ourselves that these will provide us with happiness and renewal. While these might offer fleeting comfort, they are not lasting solutions. True happiness, joy, and peace come from the Lord and are found within ourselves through Him.

Finding Strength in Faith

Lyrics from “Lead Me On” by Chandler Moore:

“I don’t know what season you’re in right now
I don’t know what giant you’re looking right now
But just let Him lead you on
Know it looks hard, I know it looks hard
Know it’s uncomfortable
But You can trust Him, just let Him lead you on
I didn’t know where else to go
I tried so many other options
But I’m left with Him, really walking by faith now”

These lyrics perfectly capture what I’m experiencing. It’s hard, and the temptation to let go and follow my path is strong. However, Ecclesiastes 3 reminds us that there is a time for everything. Rushing or skipping crucial parts of my healing process would only do me a disservice. So, I will cry as much as I need to because I trust that when the time is right, the Lord will fulfil His promises, just as He said.

Personal Insights and Practical Tips

Surrounding Myself with a Supportive Community: Leaning on a faith community has been crucial. Sharing my struggles with trusted friends and mentors allows me to receive their prayers, encouragement, and wisdom. Remembering that we don’t have to endure tough times alone is essential.
Meditative Prayer and Worship: I spend time in meditative prayer and worship, focusing on God’s presence and letting His peace wash over me. Worship songs like “Lead Me On” become prayers that soothe my soul and remind me of His constant presence.
Journaling My Prayers: I will incorporate journaling into my days. Writing down my thoughts and feelings may help me process my emotions and bring me closer to God. It will also remind me of His faithfulness when I look back and see how He has answered my prayers over time.

Embracing the Healing Process

There’s something humbling about admitting our struggles and turning to God in our darkest hours. In these times of desperation and raw honesty, we often find our most significant growth and transformation. The tears, the cries, and the feelings of brokenness are not signs of weakness but rather steps in the healing process that God is orchestrating in our lives. Each tear shed is a prayer, each cry a call for divine intervention, and each moment of pain an opportunity for God to demonstrate His boundless love and grace.

Moving Forward with Faith

It’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing our pain to our achievements, wondering why we can’t seem to find joy in our successes. But God’s plan for us often involves walking through the valleys to appreciate the mountaintops fully. Many significant figures, from David to Job, experienced immense suffering in the Bible before finding redemption and fulfilment. Their stories remind us that our journeys, with all their ups and downs, are part of a larger narrative that God is writing.

The world offers many distractions and temporary fixes, but they are just that—temporary. True, lasting fulfilment comes from a deep, abiding relationship with God. He is the source of our strength, the anchor in our storms, and the healer of our hearts. When we seek Him earnestly, we find a peace that surpasses all understanding, a joy that endures even in the face of adversity.

As I reflect on these truths, I’m reminded of Isaiah 40:31: “But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” This promise is a beacon of hope, a reminder that our struggles are temporary and that with God, we will emerge stronger and more resilient.

So, to anyone reading this who is also going through a tough time, know that you are not alone. Trust in God’s timing and His plan for your life. Allow yourself to grieve, to cry, and to heal. And remember, when the time is right, the Lord will bring you out of the valley and into the light, just as He has promised.

Let us continue to walk by faith, leaning on His understanding and not our own. Let us allow His love to fill the cracks in our hearts and His peace to calm the storms in our minds. Together, we can find the strength to keep moving forward, knowing that God is with us every step of the way.

Until next time,
Abby

Embracing Self-Worth: A Guide for Women in Relationships

You are never too much and should never apologise for your ambitions, emotions, or standards. Hold on to your worth, and never lower your standards for anyone. Embrace your journey to self-love and acceptance, and know that the right person will see your worth and love you unconditionally. Keep believing in yourself.

You are never too much. Let me say that again. You are never too much. First, I want to start by saying I’m sorry. I’m sorry if someone made you feel less than, undeserving, worthless, or useless. I am sorry.

You were never and will ever be those things. It’s the person who made you feel all these things and left you questioning your sanity that was not enough. We all have standards for a reason. However far out of the park they are, we have them for a reason, and we should hold on dearly to them, especially if they are uncompromisable. There is always some truth to cliches. Do with them as you will. Never lower your standards for anyone.

The day you do so is the day you start losing yourself. I think we as women believe that when we have a lot going on for ourselves, are educated and beautiful, and have our heads screwed on tightly to our bodies that it will be hard to form relationships. Romantic ones, especially. I am here to tell you, sister, you’re mistaken. There is someone out there for whom you were made perfectly. Someone who will complement you and make the perfect companion. Just as God created Eve from Adam’s spare rib, so, too, did He create the person just for you.

As women, we pour so much of ourselves into relationships. When our cups run empty, it is so easy for men to move on to the next. We are then left shattered, lost and hurt. We anguish about the times wasted, knowing that when we first had that inclination to leave, we should have. Those are times that we will never get back. Don’t get me wrong, there is no problem with falling in love with potential. However, for potential to be fruitful, the other individual must be willing to change. They must be willing to learn and grow. If not, falling in love with the supposed potential we see will lead to nothing but failure.

You were probably told your ambitions were too big, your emotions too intense, and your standards too high. Never apologise for wanting more out of life, for expecting honesty and respect. It took a long time, but I eventually realised the problem was not with me. I was never too much. I was just right; the person I was with wasn’t enough to appreciate that. I am the prize, and you are, too.

It’s important to note, though, that your time was never wasted. You gave wholly of yourself because of the goodness of your heart. That is something they will never be able to take from you. As hard as it may seem at the moment to believe it, you are, without a doubt, wholeheartedly deserving of everything good that life has to offer. You will get it. The Lord will turn your pain into joy. The tears you cry today are watering the fruits you will bloom tomorrow.

Think of the lessons learnt, and the strength gained. Reflect on how you grew through the pain and what you discovered about your resilience. Every tear, every sleepless night, and every moment of doubt shapes you into a stronger, more empathetic, and wiser person. These experiences will make the right person value and cherish you for all you are.

Remember, you are never too much for the right person. The right person will see your worth, embrace your complexity, and love you unconditionally. They will support your dreams, respect your boundaries, and walk you through life’s challenges. They won’t make you feel you must diminish yourself to fit into their life. Instead, they will make you feel like you are more than enough, just as you are.

So, hold your head high and keep your standards firm. Trust that the right person will come into your life at the right time. And in the meantime, continue to love yourself fiercely, chase your dreams passionately, and never settle for anything less than you deserve. Also, realise that it’s okay for you to feel defeated. Allow yourself to feel the emotions. Do not suppress them. Let them out. Your story is far from over, and the best chapters are yet to come.

Your journey to self-love and acceptance is ongoing. Embrace it, learn from it, and let it guide you to the beautiful future that awaits you. You are strong, you are worthy, and you are never too much. Keep believing in yourself, and the right person will believe in you, too.

Chin up, sister.
Abby

Meeting the Right Person at the Wrong Time

Encountering impactful individuals can significantly influence our lives, especially in the context of “right person, wrong time.” Mental and emotional readiness dramatically affects our ability to embrace these relationships. My experiences taught me the value of openness, honest communication, and seeking support. Embracing vulnerability and new experiences can lead to deeper connections and personal growth.

There comes a point in our lives when we encounter people who leave a remarkable and lasting impact on us and how we navigate life after meeting them. I have always been skeptical of the “right person, wrong time” concept. To me, it didn’t make sense. Sometimes, we do not understand a concept until we have experienced it ourselves. Only then do we truly grasp the reality of what others have been repeating time and time again.

Right person, wrong time. How is this possible? It is all circumstantial. Where we are in our lives determines whether or not we can fully accept someone else in our everyday lives. For each person, these circumstances are different. However, the situation that tops all others is one’s mental and emotional capabilities. When we come across someone at a time when we feel completely broken and lost, we might not be able to see the goodness in them and the value they can bring to our lives. We are so blinded by our pain and all that we have been through. So much so that we push those who mean us well away. We see ourselves as failures, so we cannot realize that we deserve good things and good people. Only when we have destroyed relationships with people and isolated ourselves from everyone can we truly begin to see how amazingly perfect someone could have been for us.

I believe that nothing happens before its time and that everything does happen for a reason. We can constantly worry about what could and should have been, but it all boils down to the greater good. You see, I am guilty of pushing people away. My ability to detach is scary. I did not realize that there would come a day when I would not understand these new emotions that presented themselves from wanting to push someone away. Someone I had grown to care for in a relatively short time. In so doing, I underwent a period of introspection. I then understood that healing does not have to be a solo journey. Some parts of ourselves require us to heal with the help of others.

When that person arrived in my life, and now that I think about it, it was the wrong time for both of us. I firmly believed that they were the right one. I was not ready to receive them. I was in a constant battle with myself. Walk away or stay. The pain I felt from thinking about cutting ties was enough for me to throw caution to the wind and go for a ride- and boy, was it a ride and stories for another time. I laid my cards on the table and bared it all. It was one of the best decisions I have ever made, and I have no regrets. That decision made me feel lighter, freer, alive, and genuinely happy for the first time in years. I could have missed out on all this and more had I stuck to my old ways. Unbeknownst to them, this individual forced me to work on myself and my struggles. Although the outcome was not what I expected, I am happy I took the chance because I would have missed out on something so magical and beautiful that I know only an author as creative as God could have written. I would not change a thing if I could.

If you find yourself in a similar situation, here are a few tips that might help:

Be Open to New Experiences: Sometimes, stepping out of your comfort zone can lead to the most rewarding experiences. Do not let fear hold you back from forming meaningful connections.
Communicate Honestly: Share your feelings and fears with the other person. Honest communication can build stronger bonds and help both parties understand each other better. During my introspection, I learned that bottling emotions only leads to misunderstandings and missed opportunities.
Seek Support: Whether from friends, family, or a professional, seeking support can help you navigate your emotions and gain a clearer perspective.
Embrace Vulnerability: It is okay to be vulnerable. Being open and vulnerable can lead to deeper connections and personal growth.
Reflect and Learn: Take time to reflect on your experiences. What have you learned about yourself? How can you use these lessons to grow and improve your relationships?

Our encounters with people who leave a lasting impact on our lives can profoundly shape our journey, especially when we consider the notion of the “right person, wrong time.” Through personal experiences, we understand that our mental and emotional readiness significantly influences how we receive and nurture these relationships. My journey taught me the value of openness, honest communication, and seeking support when needed. These interactions often push us towards introspection and growth, revealing that healing does not always have to be a solitary endeavour.

By sharing these experiences and offering practical advice, I hope to inspire others to embrace their emotional journeys with courage and vulnerability. Life is full of unexpected twists, and we often find the most profound lessons in these moments of connection and self-discovery. Remember, every experience—whether it seems like the right or wrong time—contributes to our personal development. Embrace the journey, trust in the process, and believe that each step leads you to where you are meant to be.

As you reflect on your journey, consider this: How might embracing vulnerability and openness to new experiences transform your relationships and personal growth?

Until next time,
Abby