God Writes Straight with Crooked Lines

Embracing Life’s Unpredictability: Finding Strength in Surrender to God’s Plan

Hope, growth, resilience, and inner peace can be found through unexpected challenges and surrender to God’s plan.

Hey, friends! This is the final piece of the “God Writes with Straight, Crooked Lines” series as I close out my final days in the Army.

As I reflect on life’s unpredictability, I’m struck by how much these moments shape us in ways we could never have imagined. It’s easy to get caught up in the discomfort of the unknown, to wrestle with sudden changes that throw us off course. But through these trials, I’ve come to understand a profound truth: God’s plan is often most evident in the spaces where our plans fall apart.

Life is full of twists and turns, moments that challenge our understanding and push us to our limits. When we face unexpected challenges—like an abrupt career change, a complicated relationship, or an unforeseen hardship—it’s natural to question why these happen. We may wonder why our carefully laid plans unravel or are thrust into unexpected situations. But I’ve learned that these moments, though painful, are where true growth happens.

I didn’t have all the answers, but I chose to believe that there was a purpose behind the pain. Slowly, I started to see small but significant changes. I was drawn to opportunities I would have never considered.

Instead of retreating, I consciously opened up to new experiences and relationships. I started attending a small Bible study group, a bonding group with others navigating life’s uncertainties and spending more time with God. Through shared stories and mutual support, I found healing and formed connections that have strengthened and encouraged me. These relationships have reminded me that community is essential to surrender and that we don’t have to face life’s challenges alone.

Reflecting on these experiences, I realize that surrendering to God’s plan didn’t just lead to external changes; it transformed my inner life. I became more resilient, more adaptable, and more at peace with the idea that I didn’t have to have everything figured out. Letting go and trusting in God’s timing has brought me closer to the person I’m meant to be.

But amidst all these changes, there is one goodbye that I know will be the hardest—the day I leave the Army. As I prepare for my upcoming discharge, my heart is heavy with mixed emotions. The Army has been more than just a job; it has been my home for the past three years. The uniform I’ve worn with pride has symbolised my commitment, sacrifices, and unwavering dedication to serving something greater than myself.

The day I say goodbye to the Army will be a moment of deep reflection and gratitude. The experiences, the friendships, the challenges—all of these have shaped me in ways that I never imagined when I first enlisted. I’ve learned the true meaning of resilience, the importance of camaraderie, and the strength that comes from pushing through adversity. But now, as I prepare to step into a new chapter, I know these lessons will stay with me, guiding me as I navigate whatever comes next.

The Army has given me so much, and as I prepare to take off this uniform for the last time, I carry a deep sense of pride, honour, and gratitude. This chapter may be closing, but its impact on my life will remain forever.

Now, you might wonder how to apply this in your life. Here are a few steps that have helped me and that I hope will guide you as well:

Pause and Reflect: When faced with unexpected challenges, take a moment to pause and reflect. Ask yourself, “What is this situation teaching me? How can I grow through this experience?” Journaling your thoughts can be a powerful way to gain clarity and perspective.
Release Control: Identify the areas in your life where you hold on too tightly. It might be a specific plan, relationship, or expectation. Practice releasing control by praying, meditating, or simply stepping back and trusting that God has a bigger picture in mind.
Take Action in Faith: Surrendering doesn’t mean being passive. It means taking action even when you’re uncertain of the outcome. Whether applying for a new job, reaching out to someone, or trying something outside your comfort zone, do it with faith that every step is part of a larger plan.
Seek Community: Surround yourself with people who uplift and support you. Share your journey with others who are also navigating life’s unpredictability. Their insights and encouragement can help you stay grounded and motivated.
Celebrate Small Wins: Growth often happens in small, incremental steps. Celebrate the little victories—learning something new, overcoming a fear, or overcoming a tough day. Recognizing these moments of progress will fuel your perseverance.

“Surrender to what is. Let go of what was. Have faith in what will be.” – Sonia Ricotti

Now, I’d love to hear from you. Have you ever faced a moment when your plans fell apart? How did you find the strength to move forward? What has surrendering to God’s plan taught you about yourself and your journey? Feel free to share your experiences in the comments—I believe we can learn so much from each other’s stories.

As you embark on this journey of surrender, remember that it’s not about figuring everything out but about trusting in the process and allowing yourself to be transformed along the way. Life’s unpredictability isn’t something to fear; it’s an opportunity to grow, discover, and become the person you’re meant to be

Until next time,
Abby

Finding Purpose in Unpredictability: Surrendering to God’s Plan

Letting go of our plans is not about giving up on our dreams but rather about being open to the idea that our lives may unfold in ways we never imagined, which can be good. It’s about consulting God in our decision-making and trusting His plans for us, which are ultimately for our good, even when they differ from our own.

A bad day, week, month or year is not indicative of a bad life. Our lives are not defined by temporary setbacks or moments of despair. It’s easy to get caught up in the negativity of our circumstances, allowing the weight of one difficult period to overshadow the broader narrative of our lives. Yet, this perspective encourages us to step back and see the bigger picture—our lives are a tapestry woven with challenges and triumphs, each thread contributing to the unique beauty of our story.

Focusing on the Wrong Things

It is so easy for us to focus on everything that is going wrong in our lives, so much so that it sucks the joy out of everything and everyone around us. However, like I said in prior posts, if our plans do not align with the ones God has for us, they will never come to life.

Faith and Comfort in Uncertainty

Last night, I had a dream, and in that dream, I kept repeating Jeremiah 29:11. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” I woke up feeling comforted, knowing things would work out as they should. Faith provides comfort in times of uncertainty. This realization invites us to shift our focus from rigidly adhering to our plans to being open to the unfolding of God’s will in our lives. It’s a call to surrender—not in defeat but trust. Trust that the detours and delays we encounter are not obstacles but part of a more extraordinary design that we may not yet fully understand.

The Unpredictability of Life

In our journey through life, it’s natural to plan and set goals. We map out milestones, creating timelines that we hope will guide us toward the life we envision. However, life often unravels those plans, leading us down paths we never anticipated. This unpredictability can be unsettling, particularly for those comfortable with structure and control. Life is something we can’t plan for. It’s too unpredictable.

The Problem with Overplanning

It’s essential to recognise that while planning is not inherently wrong, it becomes problematic when we place our sense of worth and identity in achieving those plans. When we tie our happiness and self-worth to a specific timeline, we set ourselves up for disappointment and frustration when things don’t go as expected. This often leads to a cycle of comparison, where we measure our progress against that of others, forgetting that each of us is on a unique journey with its challenges and blessings.

Comparison Is the Thief of Joy

Comparison is a thief of joy. It blinds us to the blessings in our own lives and breeds discontentment. When we compare ourselves to others, we’re unfair to ourselves and the unique path that God has laid out for us. Our journeys are meant to be distinct, and the diversity of our experiences enriches the world around us. Imagine a world where everyone’s story was the same—how dull and unoriginal it would be! Our individual struggles, victories, and lessons we learn along the way make our stories worth telling.

My Own Experience with Setbacks

The realization that I would be losing my military career and battling depression and chronic pain was a time when everything seemed to be falling apart. I had planned my career meticulously. I worked tirelessly, sacrificing personal time and energy to achieve this goal, and lost it all within the blink of an eye. It felt like a massive failure. For weeks, I questioned my worth and the direction of my life.

Embracing God’s Plan

Letting go of our plans and embracing God’s plan for our lives is not easy. It requires humility, patience, and trust in God’s timing. But how do we know when to let go? The answer lies in our relationship with God. When we take our plans to Him in prayer, seeking His guidance and aligning our desires with His will, He provides the clarity and peace we need to move forward. God’s plans are rooted in love and designed to prosper us, not harm us. When we consult Him and remain open to His direction, we can rest assured that we are on the right path, even when it doesn’t look like what we initially envisioned.

Trusting God’s Timing

It’s important to remember that God’s timing is perfect, even when it doesn’t align with our own. What we perceive as delays or setbacks may be God’s way of preparing us for something greater. He may use these moments to teach us patience, strengthen our character, or redirect us towards a path leading to greater fulfilment and purpose. Therefore, we must learn to trust in the process, knowing that every step, even the difficult ones, is part of a divine plan for our good.

The Journey of Life

Life’s journey is filled with unexpected twists and turns, but this unpredictability is not something to fear. Instead, it’s an opportunity to deepen our trust in God and embrace the unique path He has laid for us. While making plans is natural, we must hold them loosely, always willing to submit them to God’s will. By doing so, we free ourselves from trying to control every aspect of our lives and open ourselves up to the possibility of something far greater than we could ever imagine.

Conclusion: Fret Not

So, fret not when things don’t go as planned. Remember that a bad day, week, month, or year is not indicative of a bad life. It’s merely a chapter in a much larger story that is still written by a loving God who has good plans for you. Trust in Him, and know that everything will work out as it should, in His perfect timing.

Until next time,
Abby

Trusting God’s Plan: My Unexpected Army Discharge

Welcome to part two of the “God Writes Straight with Crooked Lines” series.

In the previous post, I discussed my unexpected injury, which led to my ultimate discharge from the Army. I mentioned that when I enlisted, I intended to serve twenty years. If our plans do not align with the Lord’s intention, they will never play out as we expect.

Picture a street parade with all the floats and entertainment coming by in a single procession. You can only see as far as your eyes can see. Now, think of God having a bird’s-eye view of that parade. Life is like this parade. We can see only so much, but God sees it all—from the beginning to the end.

For four weeks after my injury, I was placed on bed rest. I was in crippling pain. I wanted to reach inside my back and pull the nerves out. The pain was unlike anything I had ever felt. I could barely walk. The medications I was on were not working. My world was falling apart. In my tent back in Kuwait, while everyone slept at night, I lay awake writhing in pain. During the days when they went out to work, I tried to sleep. Everything was backward for me. I was a mess.

One night, the pain got so bad I lay on the floor because it was the only thing that brought some form of relief. The hard, cold stone pressed against my back gave enough support to take some weight off my back. I can’t remember exactly when I got my friend, Pete, to take me to the emergency room that night, but I knew I had to go. I could not survive on the medications I had. So, Pete and two other guys I had formed a friendship with during the deployment borrowed this busted-up truck from our motor pool and drove me to the emergency room.

Looking back, I can laugh hysterically about the entire experience. This truck was big, loud, dirty, and ugly! Now, picture me, who could barely walk at the time, being carried out and trying to get into a truck with a female half my height because the men weren’t allowed in our barracks. Thankfully, the ER was close by. The doctor on call told me there was only one thing left for them to try to help with the pain: ketamine. My knowledge of ketamine at the time was that it is a horse tranquilliser. At that time, I was about 160 lbs. They dosed me, and for the first time in my life, I hallucinated. I saw a kaleidoscope of colours floating in front of my eyes; I had visions while wide awake. I was floating. I was disassociated. I sang “Like I Loved You” because country music was a comfort even in a dissociative state, and it so happened to be playing on the radio. I was a goner! It was a comically horrible experience.

They did not keep me overnight, and once it was safe for me to leave, my three friends got me into that fitful truck. Once again, Pete carried me on her back to my bed once we got back to our barracks. I think I slept that night. To this day, Pete is an angel sent from God himself. I met her, and we instantly connected. Not only was she a fellow Jamaican, but we got each other. I would have never gotten through without her. Thank you to Espinal, Rahman, Simms, Mack, Morales, and Martinez. Captain Gerjoi and Lieutenant Bailey-my amazing doctors. Thank you. Thank you for getting me through. For making me laugh through the pain, keeping up with me, and just being there even after I was medevaced out. Thank you!

I volunteered for that deployment because I needed a change. I wanted to get away. Never would I have imagined the complete 180 my life would have taken. My ordeal changed me. It tested my limits physically, emotionally, and spiritually. The journey from then until now has been transformative, turning pain into strength and uncertainty into a renewed sense of purpose.

This experience has shown me that our plans are often just a starting point. The true path is revealed through trials and unexpected turns, guiding us to places we never imagined. As I look to the future, I carry these lessons, embracing the unknown with confidence and faith.

The Power of Faith and Support

During those nights in Kuwait, I often questioned why this happened to me. Why was I in so much pain? Why did my career have to end this way? It was during these moments that my faith was tested the most. I prayed for strength, relief, and understanding. Slowly, I realised that this experience was shaping me in ways I couldn’t have imagined. It taught me resilience, patience, and the importance of relying on a support system.

Embracing the Unexpected

My injury forced me to slow down and reevaluate my life. It made me appreciate the small victories, like walking a few steps without pain or having a good night’s sleep. These were things I had taken for granted before. I also discovered new passions and interests that I might never have explored if I had continued my military career as planned. I started focusing on my education (associate’s degree completed after five long years and bachelor’s in the works to be completed next May) and family and finding new ways to contribute to my community.

Looking Ahead with Hope

As I prepare to transition to civilian life, I am filled with hope and anticipation. My journey has been far from easy, but it has been gratifying. I have learned that while we cannot control everything that happens to us, we can control how we respond. I choose to face the future with optimism and faith, knowing that God’s plan for me is far greater than anything I could have envisioned.

This is just the beginning of my story. Thank you for joining me in this series. Stay tuned for more reflections on the unexpected paths that lead us to our true purpose.

Until next time,
Abby

Navigating Life’s Challenges: My Unexpected Journey of Resilience and Growth

Abby’s life took a turn in March 2022 when a back injury led to her medical discharge from the Army. Despite initial struggles and disappointment, she found purpose in her pain and embraced change. She appreciates the support of family, friends, and faith and looks forward to new opportunities. Abby also plans to share insights from her journey in future posts.

Two years ago, the trajectory of my life changed.

It was an early morning in March 2022, and I had just completed a physical fitness test in the scorching Kuwaiti heat. All was well until I tried to stand up after having breakfast some minutes later. I felt a searing pain in my lower back that stopped me dead in my tracks. I could not stand to my full height or sit back down. I was stuck. After many bouts of physical therapy, pain management, surgery, and everything you can think of, the Army has found me unfit for duty, and I will be medically discharged because I am not getting better.

I knew this would be the result, and while I had time to prepare and accept the decision, I can’t say that I am not a little disappointed. When I enlisted, I did so with the intention of doing twenty years. My injury prevented me from completing my first contract—five out of six years. Two have been spent in a Soldier Recovery Unit, away from my friends and family. I mourn the loss of a career I did not have a chance to explore and get to know my true potential. I mourn being unable to lead and help set the standards for women like me. I mourn the people I will leave behind.

The journey from then until now has not been easy. In the beginning, I was so angry, lost, depressed, and feeling sorry for myself. Over time, with the help of my faith, therapy, support from friends and family, and simply changing my outlook, I have found purpose in my pain. Don’t get me wrong; there are days when the pain is still so crippling that it feels like my body is working against me. Instead of letting the pain define me, I choose to be in control.

The person I am now is not the same person I was before my injury. I have changed for the better. I have grown, and I have learned so much that may not have happened had I not gotten hurt. I have met people who have made a lasting impact on my life. I have been focused on school, family, a career, and my future from here on out. I have never been more ready and confident to face the unknown.

Reflecting on this unexpected journey, I realize that life is a series of events, many of which we cannot control. The military deepened my resilience, discipline, and the importance of teamwork. These lessons are now more relevant than ever as I navigate this new chapter of my life. The skills I acquired during my service are transferable, and I am eager to apply them in new ways. I’ve discovered new passions and interests I might never have pursued without my injury.

My family and friends have been my rock throughout this ordeal. Their unwavering support has reminded me that I am not alone in this journey. My faith has also been a guiding light, giving me the strength to persevere and find meaning in my struggles. Each day is a testament to the power of faith, love, and determination.

Looking ahead, I am filled with anticipation and excitement. The path before me is uncharted, but it is also filled with endless possibilities. I am committed to making the most of every opportunity and to continuing my journey of growth and self-discovery. The experiences I have gained, the lessons I have learned, and the people I have met along the way have all contributed to shaping the person I am today.

In the coming posts, I will delve deeper into specific aspects of my journey, sharing insights and lessons learned. From coping with physical pain to finding new career paths, from the importance of mental health to the power of community, I hope to provide valuable perspectives that resonate with others facing similar challenges.

I want to express my heartfelt gratitude to my care team at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center, Fort Belvoir, and my civilian providers.
Thank you for joining me on this journey.

Together, we can navigate the twists and turns of life, finding strength in our shared experiences and hope in the promise of tomorrow. Stay tuned for more.

With gratitude,
Abby