You are never too much. Let me say that again. You are never too much. First, I want to start by saying I’m sorry. I’m sorry if someone made you feel less than, undeserving, worthless, or useless. I am sorry.
You were never and will ever be those things. It’s the person who made you feel all these things and left you questioning your sanity that was not enough. We all have standards for a reason. However far out of the park they are, we have them for a reason, and we should hold on dearly to them, especially if they are uncompromisable. There is always some truth to cliches. Do with them as you will. Never lower your standards for anyone.
The day you do so is the day you start losing yourself. I think we as women believe that when we have a lot going on for ourselves, are educated and beautiful, and have our heads screwed on tightly to our bodies that it will be hard to form relationships. Romantic ones, especially. I am here to tell you, sister, you’re mistaken. There is someone out there for whom you were made perfectly. Someone who will complement you and make the perfect companion. Just as God created Eve from Adam’s spare rib, so, too, did He create the person just for you.
As women, we pour so much of ourselves into relationships. When our cups run empty, it is so easy for men to move on to the next. We are then left shattered, lost and hurt. We anguish about the times wasted, knowing that when we first had that inclination to leave, we should have. Those are times that we will never get back. Don’t get me wrong, there is no problem with falling in love with potential. However, for potential to be fruitful, the other individual must be willing to change. They must be willing to learn and grow. If not, falling in love with the supposed potential we see will lead to nothing but failure.
You were probably told your ambitions were too big, your emotions too intense, and your standards too high. Never apologise for wanting more out of life, for expecting honesty and respect. It took a long time, but I eventually realised the problem was not with me. I was never too much. I was just right; the person I was with wasn’t enough to appreciate that. I am the prize, and you are, too.
It’s important to note, though, that your time was never wasted. You gave wholly of yourself because of the goodness of your heart. That is something they will never be able to take from you. As hard as it may seem at the moment to believe it, you are, without a doubt, wholeheartedly deserving of everything good that life has to offer. You will get it. The Lord will turn your pain into joy. The tears you cry today are watering the fruits you will bloom tomorrow.
Think of the lessons learnt, and the strength gained. Reflect on how you grew through the pain and what you discovered about your resilience. Every tear, every sleepless night, and every moment of doubt shapes you into a stronger, more empathetic, and wiser person. These experiences will make the right person value and cherish you for all you are.
Remember, you are never too much for the right person. The right person will see your worth, embrace your complexity, and love you unconditionally. They will support your dreams, respect your boundaries, and walk you through life’s challenges. They won’t make you feel you must diminish yourself to fit into their life. Instead, they will make you feel like you are more than enough, just as you are.
So, hold your head high and keep your standards firm. Trust that the right person will come into your life at the right time. And in the meantime, continue to love yourself fiercely, chase your dreams passionately, and never settle for anything less than you deserve. Also, realise that it’s okay for you to feel defeated. Allow yourself to feel the emotions. Do not suppress them. Let them out. Your story is far from over, and the best chapters are yet to come.
Your journey to self-love and acceptance is ongoing. Embrace it, learn from it, and let it guide you to the beautiful future that awaits you. You are strong, you are worthy, and you are never too much. Keep believing in yourself, and the right person will believe in you, too.
Chin up, sister.
Abby
Authentically Abby 